Damn You Les Stroud….

“There’s nothing on TV.”

A familiar lament in any household, this line is uttered damn near every night by either my wife or I after the kids go to bed and we settle onto the couch for a few moments of peace before we inevitably fall asleep there. We often fight over the remote- but not in the classic sense. We fight over who will be burdened with finding something to watch. There’s a few shows we try to catch, but by and large, its white noise until we arrive in “Zonk-City.”

Lately, with nothing being even remotely watchable amongst the numerous shows featuring pawn brokers, ‘reality’ morons, gold-hunters, or Animal Planet’s lame-ass attempts to convince us that mermaids are real, we’ve fallen back to watching reruns of Survivorman.
I know the show does absolutely nothing to depict recreational hiking, camping, or adventuring, but last night as I watched an episode, I found myself quite literally twitching with the urge to go through the closet, dig out my pack and start going through it as if I were planning a hike. I lay on the couch wrapped in a blanket wondering where my paracord had gone off to, when the last time I saw my camp stove was, if my belt knife needed to be sharpened, and so on. Then reality came back to me, I realized it was 7 degrees, there is two feet of snow on the ground, and the forecast for the next 10 days according to the weather.com app on the Kindle says “Bundle up jerks, its still winter.”

As I watched this survivalist go through the process of making fire, setting up camp, fishing for food, and videoing spectacular natural views, I grew despondent again.  Then I became downright grumpy.

This winter will never end, and I’ve got cabin fever worse than I’ve ever had it. I’ve got it so bad that I flipped the pages of the calendar over and marked the first day of fishing season on it and told The Narrator “You and I are taking a day off.” My wife didn’t even look up from her crafting.
“Fishing?”
“Yes.”
“Okay.”

Just like that.
It may still be a long way off, but I have something solid to look forward to, and I suspect my son does too. I didn’t tell my wife that I’m considering an overnight trip to a lake up north, but….one step at a time I think, right?

God I hate winter.

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