As I was training for my new career, I was repeatedly told that social media accounts were bad news. Things from your past had a habit of biting you in the ass, information you didn’t want shared could be disseminated…all that sort of thing.
I didn’t believe it until it happened to me- exactly as they said it would. When a prospective employer told me “Well, we really don’t like <something>” Not only that, but having pictures of my personal life and kids could be a future problem…so I pulled the plug on all of it. Facebook, twitter….gonezos.
That was back in March. I’ve been happy as a clam too. I don’t miss it. One less thing to distract me from what I need to be doing, fewer chances for my big mouth to extend to my fingertips, It has been wonderful. As an added bonus, I’ve not been slammed with dumbass game requests every seventeen minutes.
I have no plans on going back to it. I am genuinely happier without it. No more facebook drama, no more dirty laundry being aired, dumping that nonsense was the best idea I ever had- even if doing so has NOT led me straight to full-time employment.
Then something happened.
A friend of mine, who works at a college (where I’d desperately like to end up myself) sent me an email the other day. “Hey, you may want to reopen your facebook account, will explain later.” My first thought was “Oh crap, who died?”
It turns out, he was in some seminar or another with a representative who does high-level security work, and they were told that people who do NOT have these social media presences are often red-flagged as people who have something to hide.
You’re fucking kidding me right? I spend over a half a year in blissful happiness, behaving myself online, and not getting embroiled in bull shit at every turn, now I’m being told that it is possible that I’ve lost out on OTHER jobs because I DON’T have that presence?
Its like a child being scolded for trying to sneak cookies before dinner. The next day, the child is scolded because he ISN’T sneaking cookies, so it must be that he’s sneaking crackers without our knowing it.
I cannot believe how I can possibly meet defeat at every turn like this. Lose out work because of social media presence. Lose out on work because I don’t have social media presence.
What in the hell am I supposed to do now? Reopen a facebook account? I legitimately don’t WANT to. I don’t care about it anymore. I’m happy without it, as I said. But I’m NOT happy about not working. So do I need to make a brand new account, add just enough friends and enough activity that it doesn’t look like a sham account? Why do I want THAT stress? I don’t really care to be walking the fine line between “Not enough” and “Too much” as far as social media is concerned. I have enough going on that precariously managing social media to stay strictly within the acceptable boundaries for my prospective employers it just a headache. Not only this, but my phone will be desperate to be of assistance and try to synchronize all of that nonsense, no matter how much I tell it not to.
“No phone, do not sync accounts. I don’t want you to do that.”
“You don’t mean that. I’ll sync accounts.”
“Seriously, don’t do that.”
“All of your friends will be added to your contacts list and it will take an hour to find one contact.”
“Dammit phone. No. I’m serious.”
“Accounts synched. Have fun trying to figure out which one of Sam’s eight contact entries you want to send a text to.”
So what would you do? I am 100% genuine when I tell you that I don’t want to reopen that flippin’ account. Or start a new one. Or have anything to do with it. At all. But now it looks like I must, or I’m skulking around and not worth being hired.
There are some days when you just can’t get enough coffee for the world to make any sense.