Lost Word

I was writing my post yesterday, and came to a brick wall with one of the words I wanted to use. I was reaching for something very specific, and while I knew it existed…I couldn’t find the word I wanted. I went so far as to web search synonyms of the word I wanted in the event that it would pop up in front of me, but the more I struggled to find it, the more it slipped away.

Eventually, I gave up, dissected the sentence, and transplanted some replacement words in there, which worked, but didn’t have the same impact that I wanted.

For the rest of the afternoon, I chewed on the circumstances, trying to find what I was looking for. It never came, and it drove me insane all day long.

Then, at some point last night- either while dreaming, or while in a sleep-deprived, zombie-like state thanks to Mini-Me still being sick, I found it. It came into my head. It was there. I had it. Huzzah!

As of this morning though, when I got up and began to move around again….It’s gone. I don’t plan on going back to edit yesterday’s post, but dammit, I want that word back. I want the satisfaction of knowing that I was able to finally succeed in hunting it down after such a struggle.

Maybe I’ll stop trying to hard and focus on something else- like the fact that it decided to start snowing like a bastard AFTER I got to work this morning, and if it keeps up like this, I’ll go to sleep tonight to the soft hum of a server rack.

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