Not so very long ago, I was like many other young men. Any given day could be split into times where coffee was appropriate, and when beer was appropriate.
Too late for coffee was perfect for beer. Too early for beer was coffee time.
Now, I’ve never been a huge consumer of alcohol, but this was a convenient way to break the day down into manageable pieces.
Older now, and having six of my seven nights a week locked up with work that makes beer not only inadvisable, but illegal, I have all but forsaken the beer half of the day.
In fact, now that I work nights, I have learned that ‘coffee time’ is…well…any time.
And its wonderful.
I feel like I have stopped cheating on coffee with beer, and have started to devote all of my time and love to her, and she’s making me so very happy. Not only is she there for me when I wake up in the morning, but she’s there all through the day and deep into the night. She’s there to support me on 3am ambulance calls and warms me on cold winter nights.
My old ex, beer, is still around and we see each other from time to time. Our meetings are sparse and brief. She’s usually very cold when we bump into each other, but warms by the time we part ways again, almost as if she would like to have me back. But it can’t work. She can’t be there for me first thing in the morning, and if she was with me on a 3am ambulance call….she’d really only complicate things. As sexy and alluring as she is, with her curved bottles and exotic tastes, I can only want her, never need her. She’s always been a plaything, never a companion.
Coffee though, Rich and warm, and as equally beautiful as beer, she wakes me gently in the mornings and helps me through the toughest of nights. Nobody stares at us when we’re out in public together. We can talk down the street together in broad daylight and aren’t judged by people who see us. We don’t get thrown out of stores when we’re together, and can even take a drive without a problem.
I am comfortable with Coffee, and happy.
I can’t live without her.
…..actually, that’s not a joke. Caffeine withdrawal can ruin an entire day.
Coffee has always been understanding too. Even after being hurt by beer, she’s been there to help pick up the pieces. Always faithful and loving, I’ve never once regretted spending a night with her as I have with beer.
So while it is true that I’ll backslide from time to time and have a short tryst with beer, it is never anything serious. Simple, one-time things that never last, and never effect me for more than a moment.
I’ve moved on, and Coffee has been by my side, promising to never leave, even if she catches me side-eyeing an old flame once or twice a month.
This got weird. Sorry.
It’s a good thing my wife doesn’t read this blog.