A long while back there was a falling-out between members of my father’s family. Heated words were exchanged, and as a result, I’ve gone nearly four years without speaking to two of my aunts. One of them vanished, which makes things easier. The other is a control freak who cannot let things die.
When I left my job a few weeks back, I didn’t tell very many people. Including my in-laws. My father in law has been a massive help to me over the last few years and it was embarrassing to tell him. My mother in law is a busy body and giving her even the smallest crumb of sensitive information results in chafing and aggravation the likes of which can only be compared to the grain of sand that irritates the inside of an oyster. Only, instead of a pearl resulting, its a headache.
Well, flash forward to this afternoon, my estranged aunt is visiting local family….who tell her I’m not working any more.
Rather than laugh maniacally like she usually does at the concept of other’s misfortunes, she wants info. So what does she do? Dusts off her contacts in facebook and messages my mother in law, effectively blowing the lid off of an uncomfortable situation before I was ready.
Two things bother me about this situation that have turned me into a major ball of stress and anger Thu afternoon.
1. What business is it of my aunt’s? After four years of animosity and virtually no contact, what the hell does she care?
2. I’ve made it abundantly clear to my mother in law that my family does not communicate with this woman any more. Yes she’s still all over Facebook with her, not being smart enough to realize that she’s being used as a source of insider information, and nothing more. She is a tool my aunt is using to keep tabs on those of us who are trying like hell to cut her out of our lives.
None of this is anyone’s business (he said, to a group of internet strangers.) Neither of these two women have any actual interest in my well being or have anything to offer. Yet the line “I wanted to make sure he’s alright” has been bandied about a few times this afternoon.
I got off of facebook to avoid this sort of bullshit, but it seems that even now I’m not safe. There is no privacy.
Am I wrong to be annoyed? Is it my own fault for hiding this for as long as I have? Maybe. I don’t know. All I do know is that this afternoon’s little circus has added to what is a rapidly growing batch of anxiety and who knows what else.
I’m not sleeping at night. I’m eating garbage. I rarely exercise anymore. I run between jobs like a hyper lab rat chasing….I dont even know what.
They always said you can count on your family when times are tough. What they didn’t tell me is that you can count on them to throw gas on the fire, scorpions in your shorts, and laugh while you twist and dance about.
Sorry to be so down and out, but its been a rough few weeks for AD. Things will improve, I’m sure. They have to. The best part about hitting the bottom is that there’s nothing else to do but bounce back. Stick around for the bouncing.