I withdrew this morning.
Not because I didn’t feel like I could hack it. The more time I spent in class, the more my confidence grew and I began to look forward to it, as daunting and challenging as it was.
No. I withdrew because of an email I got yesterday from the HR department at the college I am hoping to go to work for. The writer wanted me to contact her with some information so I could have a physical scheduled. When I called her back, her first words to me were “Welcome Aboard.”
There have been numerous hints over the last month that the job was mine, but I’ve had rugs pulled out from under me before. I am skilled in the art of snatching defeat from the mouth of victory. I can take a sure thing and turn it into a crushing failure. It’s a gift I have, so I’ve been sort of in denial about having landed it.
When I heard “Welcome aboard” from HR though, the time to deny had ended and I needed to get my other affairs in order. I don’t have a timeline for starting yet, but I needed my bases covered in case the call comes through quickly. I told my boss at the IT job to expect changes, I told my ambulance coordinator that I would be getting the job, and apologized to her for bailing on the EMT class.
Then, lastly….I called the EMT course instructor and withdrew.
I simply cannot split my time between two massive undertakings such as a new job I hope to make a career out of, and an EMT course.
I had to choose, and in the end it was a no-brainer. The job came first. My wife has been pushing me to leave the course since the first hint was dropped about my getting the job, but I refused, thinking that at any time I could lose the offer.
If HR knows me and congratulates me though….it’s time to stop fooling myself.
I might have scored a victory after all.