Why Daddy Keeps His Hair Short

Ever try to reason with a three year old? No? Give it a shot sometime. It’s akin to hostage negotiation with an offender who is out of his gourd on every mind-altering substance known to human-kind.

We packed The Narrator off to school this morning and made plans to go pickup some birthday gifts for Mini-Me, who turns three tomorrow. My wife finished her coffee and started her morning ‘get ready to go out’ routine. She was hampered by Mini-Me, who went full-on barnacle mode, and didn’t want to let her move.

Halfway through my own coffee and not quite ready to parent yet, I told him he could watch some TV while mommy and daddy got ready.

Me: “Okay, there’s not much on. You can watch Miles, Jungle Junction, or Baby Looney Tunes.”

Him: “I like the funny guy.”

Me: “Huh? What funny guy?”

Him: “Tom and Jerry.”

Me: “No, that isn’t on. The only shows that are on are Miles, Jungle Junction, or Baby Looney Tunes.”

Him: “Oh.”

Me: “What do you want to watch?”

Him: “The car show.”

I put on Miles from Tomorrowland and took an asprin.
I tell people I keep my hair short for work. In reality, if I didn’t, you could watch it as it turns gray.

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