I found myself looking at the calendar this morning and saying “Its almost over” with a sense of anticipation. As the first wonderful sensations of my morning coffee kicked in, I realized that I am doing the holidays all wrong. Especially this year. I’ve caught myself looking at the holidays as ‘just another something to get through.’
I’ve honestly been looking at the next week of what should be joy and family, as little different than the few days where my car was laid up at the shop, or when I have to work a few 16 hour days back to back. “Gotta get through this” is not the way to be viewing the season. I’ve missed the point entirely.
However, between today and January 1st, I’ve got two 4-12 PD shifts, three 8 hour days at the day job, two 12 hour ambulance shifts, A visit to my parent’s house Christmas Eve, Both families visiting on Christmas Day, a “Polar Express” train ride with the boys on the 26th, a 4 day trip to the in-laws for New Years…even though they had visited us less than 72 hours before we’re due to arrive, and a large grocery shopping to get done. So where some of us are slamming high-octane eggnog and donning hideous sweaters and felt reindeer antlers, I’m tearing from one obligation to another until 2015 comes rolling in. (Hopefully with some good news, more on that later, I don’t want to jinx myself!)
So you’ll pardon me if I seem a tad stressed out about the week upcoming.
I KNOW I’m looking at it all wrong, and I’m trying like hell not to let my grinch-like feelings bleed through to sully the boys’ excitement, and I’m doing something right, because the little one stood in the middle of the living room floor this morning chanting “Kheee-mas!” -while the big one counted how many sleeps were left until Christmas…so even if I’m a bit grouchy, I haven’t blackened anything for them.
The tree is up, decorations complete, Christmas shopping done, there’s snow on the ground, and as an added bonus, there’s actually a pay day coming up at the end of the week, so things aren’t really all that bad. I’m just having a tough time adjusting my brain to get into ‘celebration mode’ as opposed to ‘survival mode.’
Perhaps some Creme de Minthe will help.